SAT写作批改实例

 

   下面是北外SAT张教授为了更好帮助到考生,特此将下面的写作批改实例给大家看,下面是详细内容,希望可以帮助到考生。

Both Sides of an Issue

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and assignment below.

“In seeking truth you have to get both sides of a story.”

- Walter Cronkite

Assignment: Do you agree with Walter Cronkite that it’s necessary to see both sides of an issue in order to discover the truth? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experiences, or observations).

习作修改

学生习作(第一段)
语言修改
People often focus mostly on the advantageous side when they make a decision. Thus they often neglect the other side of the decision, which may lead to an unpleasant end. My family was also not able to avoid this kind of regrettable experience. From that failure, we should see both sides of an issue.
Most often when people make a decision they focus on the advantages. Thus they often neglect the other side of the decision, which may lead to an unpleasant end. My family was also not able to avoid this kind of regrettable experience. From that failure, we should see both sides of an issue.

本段评点

许多学生过多地使用了therefore 和thus. 这样的词是用来得出结论的。“很多人只看有利的一面而忽视不利的一面”这句话中用“而”或者“并且”连接两个分句,而不可以使用 therefore, thus, as a result 等表达。这样导致问题这两个方面的逻辑关系混乱,其实并不是因为人们只看有利面而导致忽视不利一面这个结果。